Show #375: Being you is your only shot

Show #375: Being you is your only shot


Today’s show has a primary takeaway. It’s to massively change your paradigm and give you permission to be an absolute, conquering rock star by being…Who. You. Are. And to get you to quit wasting time trying to be who you are not.

It’s not an easy, one-dimensional issue. And, as I’m surely not bright enough to competently break it down so you can digest it for full nourishment and radical life-change, I’ve brought in an expert. A guy who knows this topic and its reality and has walked with thousands in its truth.

I bring you…Dan Miller. Best-selling author of 48 Days to the Work You Love. When I say bestseller, it’s literal. That book has continued to ride high in Amazon rankings its entire life. I often compare other books to it. People I don’t know ask to be on The Ziglar Show, and I’ll check out their book ranking. Seldom is it as high as Dan’s.

Many people also know Dan from his 48 Days podcast, a top-ranking business podcast for many, many years. And from the weekly 48 Days newsletter. And they know Dan as a friend and mentor to people like Dave Ramsey, Michael Hyatt, Jon Acuff, and so many others.

I, however, know him as…Dad. Yep, the guy I’m often on The Ziglar Show citing as the one who introduced and trained me up in Zig Ziglar and other world leaders.

He taught me, and has been teaching legions of others, the value of accepting, acknowledging, maximizing, and leveraging your natural-born abilities.

Today we’re going to go beyond mere “abilities” talk, however; this is…deeper. More foundational and visceral and primitive to your life.

First, Dad…thanks for doing this with me. What a gift and honor and fruition to get to do The Ziglar Show…with the guy who introduced me to Zig and to the truly valuable teachings of life. I publicly…thank and honor you!

So here is the premise: I was researching for another show, and honestly don’t know what brought me to it. Somebody might have specifically sent it to me. If it was you, thank you! But somehow I stumbled upon a YouTube video titled, Gary Vaynerchuk USC Entrepreneur Talk 2015 YouTube.

If you don’t know who Gary Vaynerchuk is, I got to know of him years ago through his WineLibrary business. The guy was in a family wine business. He started doing videos of tastings and commentary; he developed his very entertaining personality, along with an amazing discernment of wine…and knocked it out of the park. Today he is known as a leading business mogul and thought leader. You can find him at

I mentioned this video in another show recently, and feel it is valid for our Ziglar audience to divulge that if you go looking for the interview in its entirety, be prepared for an immense amount of cursing. Not just a little, but a lot. It’s like a really great movie, where in the reviews people talk about how amazing it was, but that you have to look beyond the immense proliferation of “the ‘f’ word.” Gary’s smart, he knows it turns some people off. But true to who he is, and even the message we are focusing on today, he doesn’t care. His brand is being true to who you are at the core. So you judge your own offense level. We’re taking out some great content, regardless.

What we are going to break open is the opening five minutes of Gary’s 45-minute message to the USC Entrepreneur Department.

I’m going to read off the highlights, with a bit of paraphrasing:

  • If I could give you anything, it would be a test or drug to become self-aware. ‬I think everybody lies to himself.
  • You want yourself to be something, and what I want you to do more of is audit who you actually are.‬
  • I think America, as a society, has done a really good job in selling us how to fix the things which we naturally aren’t. And there’s a lot of money being made on us forming ourselves into something we can’t be.‬
  • The number one thing you can do, you need to bet on your strengths and not care about what you’re not good at.
  • Many people in this room will spend the next 20-40 years trying to check the boxes of what you aren’t good at, and you’re going to waste a dramatic amount of time and lose.‬
  • I highly recommend auditing yourself, or find someone who knows you and will tell you who you are, and once you believe that, go directly, all chips in, all into that, because it’s the only possible way, in my opinion, watching from the outside…it’s the most highly-likely way of over indexing. Which means “have a greater showing.” Knock it outta the park.‬

OK, Dad, before breaking this down, from an overall concept, what are your thoughts? Without getting into the specifics yet…do you agree with Gary’s overall premise?

>>Listen to the show

To me, it seems highly relevant to be true to who we are at the core. But we can be fully us, and be wholly unrefined and useless. Not dumb, but ignorant.

It seems a little overwhelming. But Gary isn’t saying to quit buying all the info on personal development. Is the point to differentiate between bettering yourself, and striving to become a square peg when you’re round?

>>Hear Dan’s responses on the show

It’s interesting. When I first became aware of Gary and his WineLibrary videos, I was amazed at the dramatic amount of engagement he has with his audience. I thought he was a genius.

I was merely blogging at the time. So…I created a video studio and started doing what he did. Or at least…trying. What I realized most of all was he had a video that was so relevant because he was showcasing a physical product that had much tangible, visual appeal. Wine and tasting! You could see it. He would discuss it, often with guests. You saw him open the wine. Pour it. Sniff it and react. Taste it and react. Spit it into his New York Jets spittoon. The visual was a significant part of the product. Additionally, he did it at the wine store with wine all around, lots of real props, people in the background and more.

I, on the other hand, had no physical product. No actions going on. Just a talking head, alone in an office. And that’s not so conducive to video. It didn’t take.

I had a good message, but video was not a true platform for the product. It was good for blogging, podcasting and speaking.

Dad, I’m sure you’ve seen many great products, services and messages, attempted to be delivered on an errant platform?

>> Listen to the show

I know you’re a proponent of personality tests. Strengths Finders, and DISC even more, and you’ve used them all. I remember you trying new personality tests on me all through my childhood.

So, first I’ll ask you to speak on the value of these tests. Then ask a maybe…deeper question.

>>Hear Dan’s responses on the show

So you take the tests, you hone in on your strengths and weaknesses. But then, Gary entreats us, and I know you do, too, to get real feedback from those close to you. And find out who you really are.

That’s a big ball of wax.

First, it does seem valid that you can do all the self-discovery you want, but you just can’t see and comprehend yourself fully. Only another can fully disclose who you are.

I mean for you, Dad, all your personal pursuit of discovery. How much value was that, percentage wise, compared to what you discovered through the mirror and voices of your friends, kids, and mostly…your spouse? Your wife. My mom…Joanne Miller, who I’ll be interviewing soon in regards to her new book!

What and who has most helped you see who you really are?

>>Hear Dan’s responses on the show

It got me to consider…here I am. Where/why do I expand? Add to myself.

Where do I take what I have, and refine?

>>Listen to the show

In dwelling on this I came to: I need to first be clear on what I believe I truly want; not just merely a shallow desire. But in my heart of hearts, what do I feel called to? I can’t deny it, I can’t escape it, I can’t avoid it.

Next is, as Gary says, auditing yourself. Taking inventory. Who are you, really? Not just, “What do you have to work with?” But, “Who am I really at the core?”

Now devise a wise strategy that fits the goal and the vehicle. If three people are in New York and want to get to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and one is a sailor, one a trucker, and one a pilot, they can all get there. But they will be best suited to take entirely different vehicles.

I’m pretty proud of that analogy; what do you think?

>>Hear Dan Miller’s comments on the show

If we have something we believe in and want to communicate, but we are not good communicators, what do we do?

But what if my core is just NOT a good communicator to other people? But I’m incredible at solving problems others can’t?

That’s hard…