This is show #385 and today I bring you…Zig. He’s talking to us about…winning relationships. Many people want the step-by-step procedure to success and bypass deeper issues like…relationships. But it doesn’t exist. There is no successful person that is an island unto themselves. There may be a rich person, or a famous person, or a notorious person, who goes it alone and does it alone. And they are…alone. Which is why they don’t make it onto our “true success” radar. Everyone in that radar has winning relationships. But…where do you start? Listen in…
Today we’re drawing again from Zig’s renowned series, “Strategies for Success: Blueprint for Achievement.”
This segment is “Building Winning Relationships,” and this is Zig’s “Relational Philosophy.”
The premise is, “How do you go about building winning relationships?” Which is a vital topic. Many of you listening understand the power of having
Strong
Fulfilling
Giving
Mature
Supportive
Encouraging
Uplifting
Caring
Deep…relationships.
But you don’t know how to go about creating and establishing them. Thus the focus of today’s clip.
Ok, folks, this here is thirteen-and-a-half minutes of Zig on…how to build winning relationships. At the beginning, Zig starts off with the example of a man returning from work to the wife at home. While this scenario may still be a slight majority in today’s world, it’s not necessarily the norm. So, if it is relevant for you, switch it with the woman coming home to the man. Or…both of you coming home from your respective workplaces.
The principle is relevant…extrapolate it in whatever way serves you best!
Here you go:
Well, Zig’s initial analogy presupposes something. Mainly, that there is a healthy enough relationship that you could come home to your spouse and take a position of humility…and it would be received.
For some of you, if you approached your spouse with humility and culpability, it might be received with…anger, bitterness, discomfort…
As he goes on to say, this doesn’t happen with a one-time effort. But you can make some radical changes in small increments.
Zig’s point, here again, is how to build winning relationships. And it starts by putting others first. And this is something we can all do -- we must do, or we’ll spend the rest of our lives on the short end of the relational and opportunity stick, and working to take because nobody is giving.
We must give first.
Zig’s first point of attack…quit blaming and take responsibility. Which is not natural.
He tells the story of Adam and Eve in the garden and the blame they began with.
He goes on to mention that when you have a finger pointed at someone else, you have three pointed back at yourself.
But, folks, I realize there are many, many times when there ARE others to blame. They DID do you wrong. They DO have ill intent. You ARE truly a victim.
What do you do about it?
You either react naturally and fairly and rightfully and BE a victim. And suffer that life…
Or you decide that, fair or not, you are going to take a different tack. I’m not even going to call it the “higher road.” It’s just the winning road.
There is no winning, no success, no benefit, from being the rightful victim. The only win and success is deciding that, no matter what, we won’t be the victim. When blame is fully and fairly on another, we’ll take responsibility ANYWAY!
If that sounds nuts, then…I agree. Doing what it takes to win means you must do things that are…nuts. They aren’t fair. They aren’t logical. And you’ll take even more hits in the short-term, in order to come out on top in the long-term.
It’s massive, folks. And to start, to change in the real life circumstances, in the relationships and environments you are literally involved in now, is nearly insurmountable. Which is, of course, why few do it, even when they hear a message like this.
I don’t have a magic bullet for you folks. It’s you, and you alone, where you are now, with your own story to write of how you wake up tomorrow and walk your day and relationships out differently, for a better outcome or not.
Where does it all start?
Forgiveness.
Life is unfair
“If we make fairness the basis of forgiveness, then we’re going to be at war the rest of our lives.”
Zig thinks it’s the most prominent problem in our lives.
I would agree. Folks, I’ve come to realize the reason it’s hard for me is not even that I wish the person ill-will. I just struggle with my forgiveness…enabling the other to continue in their wrongness.
And you know what? It probably will. It probably WON’T change them.
And that’s a problem for me. I want my action to cause a reaction. I want to forgive, and have the act influence the person so they change.
But it won’t. Not usually.
Folks, forgiving is necessary. But it doesn’t mean you continue making yourself available to the person who is being…wrong.
You will probably need to remove yourself. Forgive, but remove.
Which brings us back to dealing with the reality of circumstances. What if you hear this message, you understand, you believe, but if feels impossible? To become a responsibility-taker and not a blamer amidst your current circumstances, it may be too big to swallow. If it is…then you need to move elsewhere. Your success…depends on it.
I’m not telling you what to do. I can’t know your truth. I’m just doing some math. If you need a certain outcome, but the current integers just can’t add up to the right number…you need to change the input.