Show #435: What you speak defines you

Show #435: What you speak defines you

None of us realize the gravity of this reality. What we speak…our statements, our responses, our conversations, define us to others. And, thus, garner us respect and attraction, or disdain and distance. To varying degrees. This is BIG medicine folks. Listen to eight minutes of Zig on stage, then we’ll hold some of his statements captive and, as usual, break them down for better absorption! Thanks to for their support of this episode.

Welcome to The Ziglar Show, this is episode 435. Today I bring you eight minutes of Zig Ziglar on stage, delivering a message on self-image and honing in on what comes out of our mouths. This show will open your eyes and ears to what has possibly become normal to you, and is for all of us, to a degree, and it’s handicapping our success, if not sabotaging it. The good news! We can correct it. Quickly. Here we go…

Hello, Ziglar inspiration nation. That kind of flows, doesn’t it? I’m your honored host, Kevin Miller. Today I bring you Zig, a message from him I hadn’t heard before, and a breakdown where we take some high points from his message, and drill down.

Before we dive in, I have two requests.

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It’s an amazing testimony that Zig Ziglar, the icon, has a message that is ranking him ahead of guys in their prime, even as Zig passed away nearly four years ago. This is what he wants for you…to leave a powerful legacy!

OK, let’s get with it, and get with Zig. Here we go:

Smile, firm handshake and compliment club.

“Smile at people and they smile back.” You reap what you sow. You get what you put out. I must admit, this is an acute reality to me. I endeavor to give a smile, an upbeat hello, especially to those with a lower place on the societal totem pole. It seems more and more there is little reaction. And it’s no wonder they have their place where they do. Not to throw stones, they probably got where they are by other unhealthy people. But they are reaping what they sow.

Meanwhile, those who can muster a nice smile, a firm handshake and a compliment, find themselves with

Job security
Or, at the least, just nicer responses from others

I had the difficult challenge of working fairly closely with some employees of a business we revamped, and we so wanted to turn them around. But their negativity proved to sink them. More on that in a minute.

Zig says next,
“You need to live a moral and ethical life. When you have nothing to fear and nothing to hide, you have no guilt. Guilt erodes your confidence and your effectiveness.”

He shoots off next:
“You need to take short, easy steps.” Listen again to Ziglar Show episode 432 where Aaron McHugh talks about becoming a pro in eight minutes per day.

Then Zig delivers a doozy, in my opinion:
“Your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let people look into your mind. Do they see it well-clothed, neat and business-like?”

Folks, this is huge. It’s easy to figure out, yet profound and not often understood and conceptualized.

Try to listen, really listen to people. Listen and recognize their tone. Their spirit. Is it positive and uplifting? Negative and downgrading? Hopeful or critical? Expecting good or bad?

It tells who they are.

I’m a Facebook stalker. When I want to check up on an employee, a vendor, a possible interviewee…nearly anyone I may possibly come into contact with, I’ll try to find them on Facebook. In a glance, I can get a feel for their character. Negativity, sarcasm, poor judgment as to what to post to the public.

So even more with what people actually say and speak. Go in to work tomorrow. Listen to your coworkers. Managers. Bosses. Employees. Customers. Patients. Does their conversation draw you to them? Cause you to trust them and want to be with them? Or…be eager to be out of their presence?

Or, how does it make you feel? Uplifted or critical?

The danger and daunting reality may be how you don’t even realize it. It’s just humanity, and what you are used to.

But it affects you.

Which brings us to the next point. Listen to yourself. What do you talk about? Or, sometimes more acutely, how do you respond? I’ll have to admit, I have a habit of responding to people with self-deprecation.

Self-deprecation is the act of reprimanding oneself by belittling, undervaluing, or disparaging oneself, or being excessively modest. It can be used in humor and tension release.

I do it out of false modesty and just a way to deal with people and conversation.

It’s not positive. It’s not uplifting. It’s not encouraging.

I think most people want respect. They want to be respected. Not for authority or even ego, just for value. And they are worthy of it. But they don’t speak and act in a way that garners it. I had an employee that did not garner respect. She was paid $16 per hour. This may bother some of you, but she was significantly obese and had a lot of tattoos. Folks, I fully understand your feelings of how a person shouldn’t be judged by appearance. But it’s just humanity. We DO judge a book by its cover. And people did. It made her job harder. Further, she usually responded to greetings with a well-meaning but negative response. “Well, I’m making it through the day, it could be worse!” and even a smile. And she had a sweet smile. She had a sweet heart. But she complained much about the disrespect she received from customers. Their tirades. To where my partner and I almost came to believe the customers were difficult. She would come into our office multiple times a day with how hard the work was, how much she was overcoming, to hold the business together!

Today I have another lady in this position. Making $14 per hour to start. She is bright-eyed. Positive. Grateful for life. Always a positive response. After four months, she hardly ever has a difficult customer. If she does, she remarks about how hard they must be having it. She says the job is a joy.

As of this writing, I’m emailing my partner about how she needs a raise; she is priceless to our company!

To take this further, folks, eavesdrop. Listen to what people say. At the lower-ranked employee table, you’ll hear negativity. Crude remarks. Snide laughter. Again, I’m not bashing them. I’m sure they come from harsh circumstances!

But then listen to the talk at the bosses’ table, which is probably at a nice restaurant. It’s positive. Talk of ideas and opportunities and expectation.

So, for all of us, wherever we are in life, whatever our circumstance. WE get to choose what people will see as they look into our minds as we speak.

Now, Zig goes on to talk about building success one step at a time. Ultimately folks, he’s talking about daily habits. What we do each and every day. Imagine not brushing your teeth for 30 days out of the month, then brushing all day on the 31st. Folks, your breath and appearance are going to stink all month. You will drive people from your presence and greatly limit your opportunities. And, after a short time, you will get cavities and, ultimately, lose your teeth at a young age.

For dental and appearance health, you must brush daily. Twice if not more.

Same in fitness. You can’t be sedentary all week, then run a marathon on the weekend. You can’t overcompensate for the week of doing nothing. It doesn’t work that way. You are better off to run one mile every day of the week than 10 miles one day per week. Seven to 10. But the benefit is 100 to 1.

How many steps of success are you taking…daily?

Zig mentions loving people who are on a growth mode. That’s interesting. How many people do you know who you would say are on a growth mode? They are consistently seeking to become better? Or to build better things? That’s exciting and inspiring!

Think about those you know. Who of them are talking ideas and building and growing things and working on their personal progress?

VS how many are just…maintaining. Keeping the status quo? Coasting?

Then how many are merely striving to survive?

Which are you? Though, as always, by proxy of being here, listening to Zig and this show, I know you are growth-minded! Even if you are struggling, just hearing now proves you desire growth. Keep fighting and hoping and striving toward…believing and doing!!

Zig talks about the story of the doctor and the pilot…

What’s obvious to us is often extraordinary to other people (show 434 with Jeff Goins).

The next thing to ponder, of course, is…yourself.

Get in shape – self-image…but performance!!!!