Zig asks us if we respond to life, or if we react to life. He explains the difference. Then he asks who or what we allow to control our attitude and, therefore, our actions. Who do we bequeath power to, or do we retain it for ourselves? Zig cites, “You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes in advance to fit that situation in life. But at the core of your ability is your own…self-image.” We’re going to listen to about 11 minutes of Zig, then drill in on a few of those topics. Thank you to Wealthfront and Autodesk for their support of this episode!
Hi, everyone, this is Kevin Miller, host of the Ziglar Show, where we are here for one reason…to inspire your true performance. We all want to have and achieve certain things. What we have will be dependent upon what we do. Our society voraciously consumes info on what and how to do things, so we can have. But to really do the right things, Zig tells us…we have to first…BE the right person. That’s what we discuss in today’s show and all shows…how to be…better, different. So we can do the right things to have what we desire.
Ok, then…are you ready for today’s show? 3,2,1…here’s Zig:
So, before I say one word on further understanding this respond vs react topic, I want to ask your thoughts. I’d like to drill down into a Q&A with Tom Ziglar and discuss your specific circumstances. Where is an area in your life you’d like Tom to address this ideal of responding in health instead of reacting in…emotion? Ask about an issue with a circumstance or relationship or challenge. Email us right now at [email protected]. If I get some good questions, I’ll get Tom in here with us asap and record a show and address you personally. Again, email us at [email protected].
We are so grateful you are using your time with us. We want to know how we can make the show even better, so if you have any thoughts on how we can deliver more value to you, don’t hesitate to send an email over to [email protected].
OK, let’s break down this respond vs react issue into the daily minutia of our lives:
Respond is positive - say something, unbiased and authentic, in reply.
React is negative - respond or behave in a particular way in response to something. So we are responding in a very affected way.
Think of it as being proactive or reactive. If a disrespectful person cuts me off in traffic, I can be proactive and respond in a healthy way. Or, I can be reactive and react accordingly…with anger. Tailgate him. Give him an unkind gesture. Or rant about it to get it off my chest. However, as Zig says, it will not change a thing. So, do I take a negative approach and poison myself, or do I let it go because I truly care about myself? Or, further, do I care for the people I’m driving to see…at work, my family at home? Do I want to give them a spirit of anger and resentment? Or…love and joy? It’s my choice.
I know some people will feel like this is, in fact, NOT authentic. It’s not being real. As my wife and I teach our kids, feeling angry is not bad or wrong, it’s a true, real emotion. It’s ok to feel angered. However, it’s not ok to proceed and act…in that anger. That’s what animals do.
Zig’s attitude was not because he was necessarily a saint. It wasn’t due to his allegiance to Jesus Christ, even. Now, his faith and character were significant parts.
But folks, his main message to us here is how we can be mature and healthfully respond…because it benefits US. His spirit stays joyful and not toxic. That’s good for him. His chosen attitude and demeanor also caused millions to trust him, just like you and I do here and now. And, guess what? It made him a millionaire because we all gave him our money. Zig was incredibly smart!
The best boxer is not simply the one who hits hardest and with the most accuracy. It’s the one who also knows how to protect himself. Zig knew how to protect himself, when so many others put themselves at great risk.
So, let me ask you, how much trust do you give people who you see…react? With defensiveness, anger, complaining, gossip, etc.? You may tolerate them and see the good in them, I hope you do; but do you trust them? Would you entrust your money or anything with them? No, you would not.
This is a day-to-day, moment-by-moment decision and action. And you won’t achieve responding vs reacting by simply hearing this show and understanding it. It will necessitate a rewiring, over time, in your noggin.
It IS rising above reacting out of your natural feelings. As Zig cited, of course he felt frustrated in those instances such as the flight cancellation. To react with negativity to the issue he had a 0% chance of changing, would have been choosing to do harm to his own spirit, and everyone around him. Why would any one of us ever decide to do that?!
But we so often do. Daily.
At the core of this is a question Zig poses:
who controls your attitude, joy, faith, hope, optimism? Who has control?
- boss, manager, weather, spouse, kids, car running well or not, cop, health?
Whoever or whatever we allow to control our attitude, also controls our
- thinking
- actions
- relationships
Whoever or whatever you are letting have control of your present life probably has no idea.
Have you ever been around someone who thinks they are smart and insightful, even shrewd? And yet they spend a lot of time complaining about others, blaming them, citing how they’ve been wronged, and feel they are fully in the right to call foul and seek justice? How is it working for them? Do they have joy and hope, and are they succeeding? Or are they giving control of their life outcomes to others? How smart is that? And then…do you trust them?
Before we continue, I want to again…ask your thoughts. I’d like to drill down into a Q&A with Tom Ziglar and discuss your specific circumstances. Where is an area in your life you’d like Tom to address this ideal of responding in health instead of reacting in…emotion? Ask about an issue with a circumstance or relationship or challenge. Email us right now at [email protected]. If I get some good questions, I’ll get Tom in here with us asap, and record a show and address you personally. Again, email us at [email protected].
Zig says,
“You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes in advance to fit that situation in life.”
This comes back to classic Zig, it all depends on our daily habits and strengthening ourselves. Programming ourselves to overcome and to be able to respond in health…not react in weakness.
It won’t just happen. It’s very hard to break our programming and nature. It will take a deposit of rewiring, every day. Working on who we are being.
The big takeaways from today’s show? Realize all your effort to figure out what to do…so you can do the things necessary to have what you desire, are often in vain, until you can first BE the right person, who can daily DO the right things.
Who you believe yourself to be will ultimately decide if you are able to react or respond. And to reiterate:
- Reacting out of emotion breeds anger, depression, negativism, bitterness
- Responding out of strength and understanding breeds hope and creativity, and it breeds action
So, here is to you and me! That today and tomorrow we would have the mindset to respond well to all that happens to us, especially the hard stuff!
Thanks again for using your time with us. We want to know how we can make the show even better, so if you have any thoughts on how we can deliver more value to you, don’t hesitate to send an email over to [email protected].
Thanks so much for tuning in to The Ziglar Show and walking with me as we inspire OUR true performance!