To those of you who know me, that probably sounds like a stunning statement, but I really do believe it's o.k. to be negative, pessimistic and discouraged, and I understand how a person could acquire those feelings and attitudes. Your past could well have dealt you a series of crushing blows. If that is the case, don't beat up on yourself for having those negative thoughts and feelings. It's even o.k. to blame someone else for your feelings and where you are in life at this moment.
However, you must force yourself to think about this: Blaming others for your problems is not going to solve those problems. However, blaming others will help remove those feelings of guilt that you might be carrying and guilt really is a heavy load, so blaming others is the first step. Now think about this. If someone else is responsible for your problems of the past, and even the present, surely you are not going to let them foul up your future - are you? Once you've taken that step, you're ready for step number two, which is to forgive your abuser. Step number three is to accept responsibility for your future.
In simple terms, I am saying that you must make friends with your past so that you can focus on the present and make your future all it can be. This is a "must do" if you're going to make your future better than your past. Next, to make that future better, you need to get into a goal setting mode because it has been said that those who do not plan for their future are not interested in their future. The very fact that you've read this article this far indicates to me you're interested, so develop a plan of action and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!