Show #403: You need peer pressure

Show #403: You need peer pressure

SUBTITLE: We cover a lot of ground in this Q&A session. But the power of finding the right peer pressure trumps it all. You want to succeed? Find people and groups where succeeding in your area of desire is the goal and the norm. It’s the primary ingredient for the best in every aspect of success…around the world. We also have a lively and controversial discussion on sales.

This is Kevin, and today I bring you episode 403 of The True Performance Show…by Ziglar. Todays’ show is a Q&A.

Dear Sir,
I want to ask you guys this... since there are many of us who wish to live our dreams but can't due to our own situations. We see successful people and feel, “I can never be like them.” For those who wish to live a wealthy life, but are told by those close to them, “We can never be like them, it’s impossible. We are not like them, not even near to their level...” Why is it that people don't want to BELIEVE?

Jayashina Parthiban
(I paraphrased a bit. Jayashina is from Malaysia, and cited difficulties due to circumstances and lack of opportunity in the country.)

>>Listen to the show.

Much is being written lately about the power of community and culture. In The Blue Zones Solution by Dan Buettner, he studies eating and living like the world's healthiest people. He, of course, talks about the things these people do…that are different for the rest of us. But the crux of his message is that it’s not that hard for them to do these things…because they simply live in a culture that fosters it.

Hardly any of them exercise. They simply lead lifestyles that include necessary movement as part of daily lives that results in them burning five times more calories than the average American.

They eat fresh food because…they ALL eat fresh food.
They have faith-based perspectives that give them more hope and faith because…they ALL share this.

And so on.


So, go find peer pressure for healthy things!

For those of you who went to college, imagine if everyone went out to eat to the salad bar instead of the $2 pizza or burrito happy hour at the bar.

Imagine if everyone went to bed at 9 and got up at 5.

Imagine if they all signed up for running races on the weekends and made a party out of it.

Imagine if they all went to church every Sunday.

Imagine if they all volunteered at the homeless shelter.

What would you…have found yourself doing? What would be your norm and reality?

This is the power of our upbringing and home life. Why am I here? I was brought up to know nothing but self-employment. At 45, I’ve been self-employed for all but two years of my life. I was brought up listening to Brian Tracy, Dale Carnegie, and Zig Ziglar… I was brought up to question the norm and not follow the crowd.

I’m a result of peer pressure!

So, what should you do?

- Find the right peer pressure.
- Change your culture.
- If you choose to fight against a culture and reality and surroundings that is contrary to your desires, you must realize you are drastically stacking the odds against you. You are entering a running race where your life depends on you winning, and you are strapping on 20-pound boots. It’s nearly impossible. But it’s what most people do.

In 2003, my family and I left a wonderful place, Franklin, Tennessee. It seems to be the mecca of speakers, authors, musicians, and world leaders these days, including my dad, his buddy Dave Ramsey, our upcoming show guest, Jon Acuff, and so many more. It’s a wonderful place; I’ll be visiting with my family shortly. We lived in a glorious 100+-year-old farm house on 90 acres.

But…we left. It wasn’t us. The culture didn’t fit our very specific desires and heart. No right or wrong overall, it just wasn’t right for us.

We live in a very small town, 9,000 feet up in the Rockies. It’s harder living up here. But it’s glorious, and the culture and the peer pressure support our calling.

What and where, whether geographically or vocationally or spiritually or actively…supports yours? Get enmeshed in it. It’s your number one chance for making it happen.

If you want to get fit, do you buy a McDonald’s gift card or a gym membership?

Hello Kevin,
Thank you for completely changing my perspective. There are people out there doing more than I am with less than I have. I will now work toward shortening that list every single day. Also, GETTING to do things versus being burdened is a thing of perspective, and I'm so glad you reminded me of that fact. There are people older than me, I'm 28, that because of lack of movement have atrophied and CAN'T clean their house (or complete some other physical task) any more - I can. Most important, I will continue to do so even though I can hire someone right now to do it. I'd rather use it as my cardio workout and listen to personal development at the same time. I may not be doing the most, but I know that I'm doing a lot more than others who have more. Thanks again.

Art Gómez Tagle
(626) 498-7852
Help Friends Out, Inc.

Listen to the show.

Well, wow, Art! You have inspired and honored me greatly.

For reference, Art is citing some ideas I’ve shared.

One is our propensity to make excuses and have reasons why we are victims and have reason to…be less. And yet in my experience, there are always people doing more than we are…who have less.

Now, we are not to let that shame us. We are to let that…free us. Free us from our own handicaps and anchors.

NEXT, a concept my wife and I came to was…especially as fitness advocates, how odd it is that we will often hire someone to mow our yard, hire them to chop our wood, hire them to shovel our sidewalk, hire people to do so many strenuous things…then get in our car and drive to a gym where we pay money to…work out.

We built a big house, high up in the Rockies. It literally sits at 9,200 feet above sea level. Our roof is…big. And not knowing any better, I chose a roof slant that is far too shallow. The north facing side is 1,500 square feet. In the winter, snow hits it and it doesn’t get direct sunlight. The first year, it developed an ice dam and cause leaking into our house. I must then, construct a new roof, try to fix it with metal roofing, buy heating coils, or…do what I chose to do. I shovel it. I climb up there, and in 20 minutes of massively attacking it, get the arm, shoulder and back workout of a lifetime. All through the winter. It’s great, as I HAVE to do it. Built-in accountability.

I also built an inefficient heating system for the house, as the intent was to build in solar heating. But the expense and effort is a lot.

So either I have an exorbitant electric bill and it still doesn’t feel toasty, OR…I bust my butt in the fall to cut trees down, drag them, pile them, then all through the winter cut them, and keep a raging, awesome fire going in our massive wood stove. We love the fire. The ambiance. The super-hot spot when we come in with near frost bite after playing in the wintery wood. And it cuts my monthly bill by $2-300. Again, great accountability that I’ve chosen to let continue, as the benefits are all around.

Plus, my dad owned a health club when I was a kid and I’ve had all the hot-sweat-on-gym-equipment-and-in-lockers smell that I can stand.

Erin Mercer
In a recent podcast you spoke about selling and fear. It was mentioned that public speaking and fear of rejection/failure go hand-in-hand and mastering one would help the other. I have my own business and hate calling to sell -- it makes me cringe. I took a part-time job at an insurance agency where I knew I'd have to make a lot of calls because I wanted to force myself to get better. I have been here for four months and every call is a struggle. My delivery has gotten better, but my desire to do it and fear around it has not. It's like pulling teeth, and since I dislike it so much I don’t think I'm very effective. However, I love public speaking and am not afraid of that at all. I regularly read in front of hundreds of people at my church and love it. I need to get on the phone and follow up to be successful in my business. I thought the large volume of calling would erase the hesitation. What am I missing here?

Listen to the show.

Well, Erin, thank you for posting this. It’s a wonderful question, AND it gives me a reason to address a recent negative review we received on iTunes.

Al from Philly gave us 3 out of 5 stars and wrote:


A couple things here. First, if you ever experience a great product or service, but have a disagreement with a person involved, please have the decency to take it up with that person and not publicly defame the entire product and company because of that one person.

Second, make sure, before the public defamation, you have your facts right. I’ve absolutely made plenty of cold calls. I found out it wasn’t my favorite sales tactic, and I don’t…anymore. I studied sales and put my effort into great sales content and filters that attracted my target market to me, weeded out the others, and brought me warm prospects.

Third, I’ve been working with Ziglar for 1.5 years. All my sales references are prior to Ziglar. I’m currently involved in a massive health care initiative, selling something that not one in 1,000 Americans has ever heard of. When my phone rings, I close 95% of my sales. Why? Because by the time they get there they have read, watched, and listened to all my sales content online and are filtered. That is MY chosen sales methodology. Cold-calling is fine if you like that method. There are simply…others.

So…Erin. I’m totally with you, for the most part. I don’t fear cold-calling, I just don’t like it. Zig didn’t like it, either. If you listen to and read his material, you’ll hear him state it. He never liked it. But back in his time, there were not the opportunities to initially filter people like there are today. So he did it. You, however, don’t have to.

I, also, like you…am at ease doing public speaking.

You are to be revered…for the discipline you’ve shown.

However, I’d counsel you to look at other sales models. At finding ways to attract people to you and filter them before you talk to them. To incite them to call YOU, first.

If insurance is where you are, you are selling something people need. Go out and speak to their needs, wants, desires, fears, in an authentic, caring fashion.

I don’t know what type of insurance you have, but I pay for a lot of insurance. I pay those that I trust. You go out and build trust with people. Get involved in groups and organizations. Volunteer. Serve them. Help them get what they want. And, as Zig says, you will get all you want.

But I’d highly encourage you to get some personal coaching on sales.

Find someone who is wildly succeeding in your area of business. But find someone who is doing it in the fashion that fits you. One person may be a rock star of cold-calling and they’ll say it is the ONLY way to do it. Well, it’s not. Find the person doing it in the way that fits you…and learn from them.

Oh, we got another two-star review from Janice Ward:


That’s flat out true. I said that, and with all due respect, it was unfortunate, bad form for Janice to take out her personal hurt from me, to publicly give a blight to Ziglar. I’m a flawed, human guy. But Janice cites me referencing a message from Zig that says selling is a transference of feeling. And if you are feeling…poorly, how can you adequately transfer the necessary good, caring feelings to another?

Which is a call out, a charge, that if we want to serve others, we must first care for…ourselves. We must, again, as Zig said, get a check-up from the neck-up.

If you are depressed, should you pursue a sales career? Maybe you should in regards to your skills and abilities, but you are negating your skill and ability if you are emotionally handicapped with depression.

The best athlete in the world can be waylaid by a mere cold. But to go further, I have a friend here in Colorado Springs who works with the Olympic training center and elite athletes…helping tweak the minute aspects of their confidence, belief and self-image. You won’t find a depressed person on the starting line of the Olympics. You might find one who fights…depression. But they won’t be depressed on the starting line for the finals…they’ll never make it through the qualifying rounds.

You need to be up! Inspired! You are to be authentic, but you are…performing. TED talks, they are required to prove they can communicate well and ultimately…deliver an inspiring message that connects. If they can’t, their great content will not get across and they won’t help anyone.