September 28, 2010 Edition #39
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Dad, Hug Your Daughters
By Zig Ziglar
Unfortunately, many men are uncomfortable with their daughters as they begin to mature physically. They refrain from hugging and embracing them and their relationships become more distant. At the most critical time of a daughter's life, when her need for fatherly affection is at its peak, her dad backs away from his little girl. She no longer feels like the apple of his eye. Now she's set adrift. Unfortunately, at that precise moment, "Hormones Harry," who is two or three years older, is set to make his move. That's tragic.
Let me encourage you, Dad, to continue that relationship with your little girl. Spend more time, not less, with your daughter as she grows up. Talk to her more, if she's willing (many of them are not); give her more affection, not less. I'm obviously talking about appropriate fatherly affection. She needs to have her confidence and self-image bolstered and your attention and unconditional love are crucial. In addition, at that stage of her life she often feels that she's "different" and unattractive. The records clearly indicate that the father who is affectionate and treats his daughter with respect and love, produces a daughter who is substantially less promiscuous than the young girl whose father backs away from her as she "grows up."
Dr. Ross Campbell, a brilliant psychiatrist from Chattanooga, Tennessee, says that in all of his years of research and practice he has never known an adult of either gender with a sexual dysfunction who had a father who was kind, gentle, loving, thoughtful, affectionate, considerate and some of those other "feminine" qualities. So, Dad, go ahead. Hug your daughters and don't forget to give Mom lots of hugs, too. Take that approach and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Zig Ziglar is known as America’s motivator. He is the author of 29 books and numerous audio and video recordings. He brings his message of hope to thousands on the stages at the Get Motivated Seminars. See him in action!
Kids go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love. ~Zig Ziglar
4 Ways Effective Leaders Respond in Difficult Times
By Dr. Tim Irwin
Some years ago, my wife, Anne, and our two sons enjoyed a several day stopover in Hawaii after I had spoken at a meeting in Singapore. At the magnificent beach in front of our hotel, the boys and I had fun surfing on boogie boards, while Anne read under a thatched beach cabana. At one point, I was the only one in the water. As I walked toward the beach I looked up to see Anne and the boys transfixed on me with their mouths agape. They seemed unable to speak or even gesture. At that instant a towering rogue wave struck me and threw me to the ocean floor with such force that it knocked the breath out of me. It then felt like I was in the spin cycle of a giant washing machine for what seemed like five minutes. Everyone on the beach rushed to my side and then gawked at my bright red sand-blasted skin. The boys later told me the wave was at least ten feet over my head when it hit.
During this current recession (aka “The Great Recession”), the headlines tell of many companies, in some cases, industry leaders, which were hit with a financial tsunami. In some cases these companies were swept out to sea and lost, rather than merely sandblasted on a rough sandy beach. I have walked the corridors of some of these organizations which were struggling to survive. The eyes of many employees conveyed the anxiety and uncertainty that most felt. Would a rogue wave roll over their company...and their jobs? You and I have wondered the same. Some of us have been personally impacted through job loss or other consequences of the downturn.
Many leaders with whom I have spoken seemed as shell-shocked as their employees. They appeared to be transfixed by the towering waves washing over their organization. In an effort to be transparent, these leaders have often attempted to communicate to their organization’s employees the seriousness of these dire challenges. As these grimfaced workers return to their jobs, they are often disheartened and distracted but still are better off than the employees of Lehman Brothers who packed their personal effects in cardboard boxes, turned in their IDs and walked to the subway in a stupor.
How do great leaders respond to a crisis?
There are several possible messages leaders can send:
“All is lost...good luck.”
“Stay the course, persevere, carry on.”
“It’s tough now but we will get through this...keep up your courage.”
A crisis cries out for great leadership, and the last of the three possible messages above is what is needed. Our present economic challenges call for inspired direction, both corporately and individually. We need to be encouraged to achieve… not driven to avoid failure.
Today’s difficulties represent a unique opportunity for leaders to lead... to get out in front. In crisis, tossed to and fro, employees need four things that can only come through competent, capable leaders:
1. Hope - “Things are tough but we will get through this.”
2. Direction - “Here’s where we are going... this is our compass heading.”
3. A Plan for Moving Forward - We need to know what to do - how to behave - who does what.
4. Trusted Leaders - Leaders with the character, competence and concern needed to coordinate the effort and encourage the rest of us.
If we serve in any leadership role, whether the CEO, a department leader, or head of the mail room, we must provide these four elements. For those who may not be in a formal leadership role, we have the opportunity to lead ourselves. We can provide inspired direction and generate hope in others through our own individual actions. Hope is contagious, regardless of our role in the organization.
In today’s turbulent economic environment, we all may be feeling a little sand blasted, and this is a normal reaction; however, our response after the wave hits is what ultimately defines us. We might even say it brands us and determines how we will be remembered in the years ahead.
How great it would be if we could seize this moment to be stronger, to grow in our character and become more hopeful. How great it would be for our organizations, if our leaders would move us collectively to this shared optimism and expectation. How great it would be if you and I chose to rise above and lead the way.
Tim Irwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and leading authority on leadership development, organizational effectiveness, and executive selection. For more than twenty years, he has consulted with many of America's most well-respected organizations and top Fortune 100 companies. He has also served in a senior management post for a US-based company with more than three hundred offices worldwide. Presently, he is managing partner of IrwinInc.
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Word of the Week
1. Of or pertaining to the bank of a river or stream
The riparian sounds reminded me of my youthful summers spent on the York River.
By Croft M. Pentz
You cannot kindle a fire in another’s heart until it is burning in your own.
None are so old as those who have outlived their enthusiasm.
Enthusiasm without knowledge is like running in the dark.
A fanatic is a person who is highly enthusiastic about something in which you are not even remotely interested.
A fanatic is someone who would be called a “dedicated idealist” if he were on your side.
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